


She Loves Her So

by SammyDang



Category: Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, chenzel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23051572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammyDang/pseuds/SammyDang
Summary: Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth met when they worked together at Wicked the musical. They fell in love, and their love never been easy. But in the end, they have been changed for the better. And they live happily ever after... For Good.
Relationships: Kristin Chenoweth/Idina Menzel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. What Is This Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [She Loves Her So](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/624544) by Sammy Đặng. 



> I wrote this story in my native language (which is Vietnamese).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I have found my Elphaba!"

_What is this feeling_   
_So sudden and new?_   
_I felt the moment_   
_I laid eyes on you_

***

Kristin sat on the chair, looked around, felt so bored. At the table, on her left, there are two other people. One was Joe Mantello - the director. The other was Stephen Schwartz - the composer. And yes, they were the judges of Wicked's casting.

Joe and Stephen stopped talking. Joe looked at his watch and then turned to Kristin.

"Can we continue now?"

"I just don't get it. Of course, you and Stephen should be here, but I'm not. Why you ask me to be a judge of the casting?"

"You're the first one being chosen to be on the play, don't you think you have a sort of responsibility?"

"It isn't my fault that they choose me for the part Glinda. I feel so wasted my time just sit here and hear people sing."

"I told you, I want Glinda to pick her own Elphaba."

"I wish Stephanie Block didn't have to quit."

"Stop complaining, or else you won't have to play Glinda either."

Kristin pouted but didn't say anything.

Joe signed his assistance, who was sitting near the door.

"Call the next one!"

His assistance stood up, opened the door, and shout.

'Next, please!"

Joe looked at Kristin, frowned.

"Sit up with your back straight!"

Kristin sat up, looked at the casting file, turned the next page.

The information on the page: "Idina Menzel. Rent's OBC, played Maureen."

She watched "Rent" on Broadway with the OBC before. Maureen is an unforgettable character. But she didn't have any particular memory about the girl named Idina Menzel. She looked at Idina's picture on the profile, she thinks she might have met her at a party or so, but they never talk.

Idina stepped in, softly introduce herself.

"Hello, my name is Idina Menzel. I want to cast for the part Elphaba."

Kristin surprisedly lifted her head and almost laughed out loud. The girl stood in front of her is a gorgeous girl, with long brunette hair, tall and thin, with a shy smile. She wore black goth clothes with a white shirt had a picture of the old wicked witch Elphaba on the "The Wizard of Oz" movie, motorbike boots, green lipstick, green nails, and green eyes shadow. She didn't look worried at all but seemed so shy. Something reminded her of the crazy Maureen on Rent but at the same time, nothing like that character.

Kristin looked at the profile again: "DOB: May 30th, 1971."

She can't believe Idina only three years younger than her. Her style and her voice just like a teenager.

"Elphaba is the main character, which means a lot of pressure. Are you sure you can handle it?" Joe asked.

"I know, and I do believe I can do it." Idina said with her soft and calm voice.

"Elphaba casting song is Defying Gravity. You can look at the music sheet and start singing whenever you ready."

The pianist gave her the music sheet. She looked at it for about two minutes and nodded with the pianist. The music started.

Idina stood with her left hand patted at her thigh, count the beat, suddenly looked so confident, with a bright smile. So bright, it made her face shine.

She started to sing. Her voice was strong, fitted Elphaba's character very well, and so different from her soft talking voice. But from yesterday morning to now, there are hundreds of people cast for the part Elphaba, hundreds of voice style, and of course, all of them sounded amazing, so a good singing skill wasn't enough.

Kristin looked down, drank the tea. Idina was about to sing the high notes, and everything was still perfect until she choked right before sang the high F.

"And you won't bring me… FFFUCK!" A high pitch shouts out, even higher than the high F, and the piano stopped right after.

Kristin, startled, lift her head.

Idina turned to the pianist, glared at him. The poor guy looked so scared, he raised his hands, didn't dare to play a note.

Kristin grinned, Idina turned around, and their eyes met each other, Idina gave her a big smile, and all of a sudden, Kristin's heart skipped a beat.

Idina raised her hands, her voice's high and clear, and this time she nailed it, perfectly belt the last part, right notes, and correct words.

"Me!!! Down!!!"

Joe nodded.

"Okay, thank you..." Joe stopped, looked at the profile information for the first time since yesterday. "Miss Eye-Dee-Na Menzel…"

Kristin shockingly turned to Joe. This is the first time he had enough patience to speak the contestant's full name. But right after that, Idina gave her another surprise.

"Eh-Dee-Na is the correct way to pronounce my name."

"Uhm, Miss Idina Menzel..." Joe repeated, one again speak her full name. "Thank you for coming, we will call you later."

Idina once again looked so shy, she nodded and softly said: "Thank you so much". She turned around, headed to the door. When she was near the door, Joe's assistance immediately helped her open the door. She stepped one step backward, nodded, and said thanks one more before went outside.

"I think I have found my Elphaba!" Kristin smiled.

"Agree! I love her attitude. Wicked, just like the character." Joe nodded.

Kristin suddenly realized that Joe didn't ask her to do the acting.

"Great, my job here is done. Can I go home now?"

"No. I do like her, but that doesn't mean I will choose her. And besides, we still have to find two stand-by for the role Elphaba."

Kristin didn't argue with Joe. She watched Idina skittered on her way and grinned all the time. From yesterday until now, this was the first time Kristin felt so delightful.

–

Two days later, Idina got the call ask her to come back to do another casting. Idina walked to the studio, nothing much to mention except the fact that she wore green pants that looked so stand out and draw a lot of looks from strangers. Usually, she will be annoyed by it, but today she thought it was fun. She felt like she was experiencing Elphaba feelings.

When Idina arrived, Joe, Stephen, and Kristin already there. Joe and Stephen didn't seem to notice it, but Kristin immediately looked at her green pants and smiled. Kristin went close to her and shook her hands.

"Hi, I'm Kristin Chenoweth."

"Hello, I'm Idina Menzel."

"Nice pants!"

Idina smiled shyly.

"Your voice is so adorable!" Idina's face reddened. She didn't know why she said that.

Kristin laughed. 

"Really? Some people don't like my talking voice."

"No way!" Idina raised her voice.

"Hey, are you two done talking? Can we start now?" Joe looked at them.

"Shouldn't we wait for everyone else?"

Kristin smiled and blinked.

"There isn't anyone else."

"You are the only one fit Elphaba character. But don't celebrate just yet, Chenoweth and your character will do a lot of duets, so I need to make sure your singing voice harmony well." 

The four of them stood near the piano. Stephen sat on the chair, and Joe stood next to him. Kristin and Idina stood in front of the piano. Joe gave them a music sheet for each. Idina read it carefully, and the song's name was "For Good".

Kristin just took a look and put it down. 

"Hit it, Stephen!"

Music started, Idina was still reading the sheet. But right when Kristin opened her mouth and sang, Idina immediately looked at her.

Kristin's singing voice was so breath-taking, Idina felt like she was in heaven just listened to it. She has heard Kristin sing before, but never have the chance to watch her performing live, and certainly not this close.

"But because I knew you, I have been changed for good." Kristin sang the last solo line. She looked at Idina and gave her the sign to continue.

Idina looked at the music sheet. She sang while reading the music sheet.

"For the things I've done, you blame me for."

"But then I guess we know there's blame to share."

The next part is the harmony part. Idina already remembered the lyrics, so she looked at Kristin, and Kristin looked at her too. They both were exciting.

The moment of truth.

"And none of it seems to matter anymore" They sang it at the same time and their voice in a harmony that blends well together, both smiled at each other sweetly.

"The harmony of their voice was so magical that the word magical itself wasn't enough to describe it.


	2. Where Do I Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's because I'm wearing it."

_Where do I begin my love?_   
_Starting with the things I haven't said enough of_   
_Starting with the day you changed my life_   
_And ending with the way I feel tonight_

***

The first rehearsal day, when Idina came to the studio, Kristin was the only one there. Kristin was playing piano, didn't even realize she was there. Idina quietly stepped in, sat on a chair far away, didn't want to interrupt her. When Kristin stopped and looked up, she saw Idina sat in front of her and looked at her with tender eyes.

"Why do you sit so far from me? Come here!"

Idina shyly smiled. She moved closer and sat next to her on the bench.

Kristin looked at her from head to toe and laughed.

Idina felt embarrassing.

"What are you laughing for?"

"Exactly how many green clothes do you have?"

Idina looked down to see her green hoodie and laughed also.

"Enough to wear one thing each day from now until I'm fucking dead."

Kristin gently slapped her.

"What is this with you and the f-word?"

"Only when I have strong emotions, like excited or angry."

"Well, I learned something about you."

"If you want to know more about me, then you should know that I love hearing you play the piano."

"And I love hearing you sing."

"Not as much as I do, I'm crazy about your singing voice. Last night I played your CD all night long."

"Our singing voices are meant to be, aren't they?"

"Yeah, meant to be."

They looked at each other and smile. For a moment, it seemed like a whole world stopped.

"Kristin and Idina are sitting on the chair. K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

They both turned to see Michelle was stepping in and humming that silly song.

"Hey, your characters aren't lovers, my dear. What's up with that long loving glance at each other?"

"Oh, just so you know, they did kiss in the book. And who said they don't love each other in this play? They care so much for each other!"

Idina spoke fast, Kristin giggled.

Kristin kissed Idina's cheek.

"That's right, Elphie. Protect me from that wicked witch of the East!"

Idina look bewildered, her hand touched her cheek.

-

Today was one rarely off-day. Usually, Idina would be pleased because she could sleep till noon, but today she felt so bored.

She couldn't sleep as she planned, so Idina decided to take a walk. When she walked by a pastry shop, she suddenly stopped and looked at the chocolate cookies jar. It reminded her of Kristin. Idina didn't understand why, perhaps because Kristin loves chocolate cookies. But it still somewhat weird when she suddenly think about Kristin.

Idina really wanted to call Kristin and ask if she wants to hang out, but Idina wasn't sure if they were friends or not.

Eventually, she bought one chocolate cookies jar. Idina was looking forward to tomorrow so that she could give Kristin the cookies. Idina could imagine Kristin's face light up when she sees it, and she will open it, take two cookies, one for each of them.

–

Today, when she saw Kristin, Idina felt like Kristin wasn't as happy as usual. She still smiled sweetly and brightened the world, but she seemed less talkative.

When the rehearsal ended, Kristin sat on the chair and waved goodbye to everyone else. Idina pretended to do something and waited until everyone was left. She came close to Kristin. Kristin smiled and waved goodbye.

"Bye, Dee."

Idina sat next to Kristin.

"What's up with you today?"

Kristin looked at her shockingly.

"Nothing?"

"It's okay. You don't need to tell me. I'm alone tonight, do you want to have dinner with me? I know a wonderland, guarantee it will lighten your mood."

Kristin laughed.

"Sure."

They bought a pizza and two beer can. Idina held Kristin's hand and led her to walk through a long street and turned to a small corner where seemed like no one around. Kristin squeezed her hand. Idina turned to look at her and smiled at her.

"Don't worry. It's safe here."

Idina pulled her ran a few steps and stopped in front of a small florist. She found the key in her purse and opened the door. They both stepped in, and she locked the door then turned on the light.

Shimmer yellow light shined, Idina turned back. Kristin was looking at all the flower pots inside with joy on her face. Idina called her.

"Hey, Kristin, looked up."

Kristin did as she said, she looked up, and immediately her hand covered her mouth, and she gasped.

Idina smiled and looked up also. The roof of the florists made of glass, which you can look through and see a sky full of stars. It was stunning.

"So beautiful!" Kristin said.

Idina looked at Kristin, Kristin opened her arms like she wanted to hold the sky, smiled happily, and her eyes were shining. Suddenly, Idina thought the woman in front of her was a thousand times more beautiful than the starry sky.

They sat next to each other, looked up the sky. Each was holding a beer can. Kristin rested her head on Idina's shoulder.

"This place is a wonderland, isn't it?"

"Yes. It belongs to your family?"

"Nah, it belongs to my ex-boyfriend."

Kristin looked at her with an amused face.

"Oh, your ex-boyfriend? He gave you this florist?"

"No! God, no! What are you thinking? He doesn't live in NYC anymore, so he gave me the key so I can look after it."

"So he did indirectly gave you this florist."

Idina laughed.

"Maybe."

"Can I ask why you two broke up?"

"Oh, it's so silly. He moved to France, and we decided long-distance relationship wouldn't work and called it a quit. No drama, we're still good friends and keep contact."

"If only all relationship ends that simple."

They both quieted for a few minutes. And then Kristin spoke.

"I just broke off our engagement. We have engaged for three years, but I don't want to get married. To be honest with you, the broke up is terrible. That's why I had a bad mood today. I tried to conceal it, but somehow you still know.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. My fault, actually. I love him. I really do. But engaged for three years, and I still wasn't ready to marry him. He doesn't want to keep waiting anymore."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It shouldn't be that hard. We engaged and lived together for three years. So basically, it was exactly the same as marry except a certificate. I think it was great. Isn't the important thing is the two of commitment to each other? Why need a certificate?"

"Maybe you weren't ready because he wasn't the one for you."

"Then what if there isn't anyone for me?"

"So what? You are the Kristin Chenoweth. You don't need a marriage certificate, do you? Besides, I bet there are thousands of men waiting for you just to give them a look. Take your time, Cheno."

Kristin rubbed her head against Idina's shoulder.

"I think I fall in love with your hoodie. It's so comfortable."

Idina looked at her green hoodie and laughed.

"It's because I'm wearing it."


	3. What if we never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The scary part is, I enjoyed it.”

_What if we never met on that corner_   
_What if that chance had just passed us by_   
_What if we kept walking_   
_And never walked into each other's eyes, each other's eyes_

***

San Francisco's tryout came closer every day, so everyone felt more and more stressful.

Today they would act with props for the first time, and Idina would be greenified for the first time also.

When Kristin arrived, she saw Idina's purse but didn't see her at the big rehearsal room.

She went to the small room, a lot of people surrounded the dress-up room. She wanted to go in, but Joe stopped her and asked her to learn some new lines.

About half an hour later, Idina went out, and right when Kristin looked at her, she gasped.

She never thought someone could look that gorgeous while being greenified.

"I think I want to be green."

Joe laughed.

"You could be pink."

Idina smiled shyly and went close to her.

"Let's go freak everybody else."

The truth was that Idina couldn't scare anyone with her green face. It was the opposite. She was terrified of everyone's reaction. Clearly, Kristin wasn't the only one who thinks she looks amazing with green skin. As soon as they went to the big rehearsal room, everyone surrounded Idina to looked at her closely and complimented her repeatedly. Idina was so shy, she looked down and could only say thanks. Someone had to speak out.

"Give her some space, guys!"

Joe pulled everyone out and stepped in with a broom in his hand.

"Let's try 'Defying Gravity' scene with props. Start from when the broom flies to Elphaba."

He gave Idina the broom.

"Quick! Get on!" Idina immediately said her line.

"What?!" Kristin stepped a few steps back.

Idina looked at Kristin, her lips shook.

"Come with me… Think of what we could do. Together!"

Idina started to sing. Kristin slowly came closer, and her hands touch Idina's hands. She stared at Idina.

"If we work in tandem…"

Idina grinned.

They both sang, one of Idina's hand put on her hand, and her other hand put on Idina's hand. The warmth of Idina's hands made her felt so comfortable. The mixed smell of Idina's perfume and green paint on her face made her felt so relax. Kristin stared at Idina, and Idina looked at her too.

The harmony part was done. According to the script, Kristin should let go of her hands and step back. But she lost in all of her emotions, just stood there and stared at Idina.

Idina continued reading her line.

"Well, are you coming?"

"Yes…" Kristin said.

Idina grinned, and at the same time, everyone laughed loudly. Kristin let go of her hands, pretended as she did it on purpose, and laughed.

"What? I just said what Glinda should say."

Joe smiled.

"Alright. Stop messing around, Chenoweth. No time to wasted.

–

When Kristin went home, she realized her door wasn't locked. Just like she thought, she stepped in and saw Denny sat on the sofa. He was reading a fashion magazine.

She came close. Denny smiled but didn't look at her.

"Welcome home, my biggest star."

Kristin sat next to Denny, rested her head on the sofa's back.

"How was the rehearsal?"

"So tired I could die. We have to move to San Francisco next week for the tryout."

"Still cannot believe you turn down a role on West Wing for this play. What if it couldn't make it to Broadway?"

"I know it's going to be on Broadway soon!"

"Hope so."

"You're my manager, should you pray for it to make it to Broadway?"

"You turn down a chance to go to LA for this. Only if Wicked became a Broadway's legend and won some Tony, then it would be worth it."

"You will see!"

Denny didn't respond.

Kristin stared at the ceiling for a while and rested her head on Denny's shoulder.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

"No, I cannot be your boyfriend. I'm gay."

Denny said and laughed.

"I'm serious!"

Denny stopped laughing, waited for her to continue.

"Uhm... When did you know you're gay?"

"From the moment I realize I like boys. About 3, kindergarten. Still remember his name, Mikey, blonde, really cute..."

"Aren't you... confused?"

"Confused? No! I'm three years old. I just like him."

Denny suddenly stopped, pulled her back a little, and looked straight at her eyes.

"Chenoweth, are you having a crush on a girl?"

"Maybe..."

"Who? Who is this magical girl that makes you realize the magic of same-sex love?"

"I can't tell you..."

"Why? You even told me the first time you have sex with your ex, in detail. Just a girl, I won't steal her from you anyway."

"I just can't. She's... married."

"What?!"

Kristin's phone rang. It was Idina's call. 

"I have to answer this. It's Idina."

Kristin stood up and stepped a few steps away from Denny. She answered the phone, and her lips unconsciously curled up into a smile.

"Dee?"

Denny looked at her the whole time with his eyes squinting.

"Sure. I will come tonight. No, no problem. Okay, bye."

Kristin hung up the phone, still smiling.

"Kristin Chenoweth, are you having a crush on Idina Menzel?"

"What? Who said that?"

"Don't need to say it, I saw everything. Good type, Cheno. I saw her on Rent. Even I want to fall for her."

Kristin covered her face.

"What should I do?"

"Confess your feeling to her!"

"Can't! She married!"

Denny faltered.

"Then... un-crush her."

"It's not that easy. We meet at least 16 hours every day."

"Oh, my biggest star. What can I do to help you?"

Kristin shook her head.

"I don't know."

–

Today was the last rehearsal before they went to San Francisco. Joe said he wants everyone to do the whole play from the top, and if someone did something wrong, they would have to do it all over again.

She could feel Idina shivers beside her when Joe said that.

Luckily, thanks to everyone's effort, they did it perfectly right the first time. 

After she and Idina stood on two sides of the stage and sang the last line for "For Good" on the final scene, Joe was the first one who stood up and clapped. Everyone else ran on stage and hugged her and Idina.

It took a while since she and Idina finally got the chance to come close to each other. And then, Kristin suddenly grabbed Idina and dipped her for a big kiss. Everybody left on the stage fell out laughing. Idina licked her lips and grinned wickedly. She cracked them up again by saying.

"The scary part is, I enjoyed it."


	4. Let’s Fall In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I'm falling in love with you."

_Let's fall in love_   
_Why shouldn't we fall in love?_   
_Our hearts are made of it_   
_Let's take a chance_

***

Kristin laid awake on the bed.

Today was a long and exhausting day. They came to San Francisco in the early morning and only had a short time to check-in. Right after that, they moved to the theater to do the technique check, and it took longer than they expect. Their job only was done in the late night. Kristin was so exhausted. Her body seemed like it doesn't belong to her anymore. Tomorrow was San Francisco's tryout night. She had to sleep even just a little, or else she wouldn't handle tomorrow.

She knew she must sleep, but sleep in an unfamiliar place always made her insomnia was worst. She had Ambien already, but it couldn't help much. This was torture when you are exhausted but can't sleep.

Kristin looked at the clock. It was over midnight. She sat up about to take more Ambien. Right at that moment, in the middle of the quiet night, she heard a light knock, and then Idina's whisper:

"Kristin, have you sleep yet?"

"Not yet." Kristin said and went to open the door.

The door opened, Kristin saw Idina grinned at her. Her hair tied to a ponytail, and she wore the green hoodie ended at her high thigh, almost all of her long and thin legs were exposing.

Kristin teased her.

"Idina Menzel, are you seducing me in the middle of the night?"

Idina laughed and stepped inside.

"What are you thinking? I'm married."

Kristin felt a little aching by hearing that, but she smiled and shut the door.

"I know you will have a hard time trying to sleep in a new place, so I came to warming your bed."

Idina wore off her hoodie, put it on the sofa. She wore a white shirt had a picture of the old witch Elphaba and mini short pants. Unable not to notice that she didn't wear the bra, even though her shirt was oversized, Kristin still saw her tits behind her shirt. Kristin blushed. She pretended to cough and drank a whole cup of water.

Idina didn't wait for her invitation. She laid on the bed, pillowed her arms behind her head, her foot waved.

"Come here, Kristi."

Kristin laughed, slowly came to bed.

"Miss Menzel, look at your posture, you're seducing me for sure."

"Fine, I admit it. I'm seducing you." Idina winked and said in her husky, sexy voice. "Kristi, baby, come and take me."

Kristin immediately had some intimated thoughts that made her face redden. Kristin quickly got in bed right next to Idina, with her head lower than Idina's. Idina turned to face her.

Kristin used her fingertip to poke on the old Elphaba picture on her shirt, tried not to look at where her tits are.

"You really love this shirt, don't you?"

"It's my lucky charm. I got the part because I was wearing it on casting day. I have to wear Elphaba's costume tomorrow, so I decided to wear it tonight, for luck."

Kristin giggled.

"You wore a lot more than just this shirt on casting day, not to mention all the green make-up on your face."

"Well, I'm wearing a fucking heavy dress, and there's green paint all over my face tomorrow, so it's even."

Idina stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Kristi."

"Goodnight, Dee."

Kristin closed her eyes, but it seemed more challenging to try to sleep now. Idina laid right next to her, her warmth and her scent were all over the place. She realized now the comfortable smell on Idina's body wasn't perfume. It came from her own body. She knew no way Idina wear any perfume when she's going to sleep.

She constantly thought of how much she wants to kiss Idina and do more than that. Idina was so close, so so close. She tried to shut her mind. This kind of torture was even worse.

Idina's breath grew steady and deep. It seemed like she already fell to sleep.

Kristin listened to her breath and felt so peaceful. She slept in no time.

That was one of those rare times Kristin could sleep so tight.

–

Kristin covered herself from the cold. She frowned and slowly opened her eyes. The one who slept beside her last night was gone.

Kristin felt so empty. For a second, she wondered, was it just a dream?

But when she sat up, she saw a note on the pillow.

Kristin smiled and read the paper.

'I have to leave early for costuming. Sorry for not saying goodbye. Don't want to wake you up. Love, Dee.'

Suddenly Kristin felt so happy. She made a coffee for herself. And when she sat on the sofa, she saw the green hoodie that belongs to Idina still laid there. She held the hoodie close to her nose. The warmth and scent of Idina were still faintly. Last night's intimated thoughts came back to her, her body got hotter, and that place was so wet by now.

She held the hoodie by one hand, and slipped the other into her own panties, closed her eyes. She was doing herself.

"Dee… Umm…" Kristin moaned.

–

San Francisco's tryout was a huge success with a standing ovation last 10 minutes. Kristin couldn't believe it.

She leaned her head close to Idina's ears and whispered.

"OMG! I have never been in a show where they stood up before."

Idina smiled, whispered.

"All thanks to you, Kristi."

"This is what we made together."

Idina squeezed her hand.

"Yes, we're magical together."

When everyone went off stage, Joe was waiting there with a smile on his face.

"Good job, everyone! Let's celebrate. My treat."

Everyone jumped and shouted with joy.

–

They celebrated in a night club.

Kristin and Idina sat next to each other at the bar station with a cocktail on their hand. Everyone else was dancing on the dance floor.

Idina sipped the wine and rested her on Kristin's small shoulder. Idina was taller than her, even when they were sitting. She thought this posture wasn't comfortable for Idina, but she seemed to enjoy it.

Kristin lifted her shoulder a little, leaned her head close to Idina's ears, and whispered.

"People are starting to forget our existence. Want to sneak out of here?"

Idina giggled, didn't answer but sat up, held Kristin's hand, and looked around.

"That door on our left is the safest way, all of our friends are on the opposite."

Kristin laughed.

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three!

They both counted "three" at the same time, and Idina pulled Kristin running away. Kristin's gaze fixed on Idina, and the world was a blur, only focus on Idina. Idina looked back, smiled sweetly at her, just like a beautiful slow-motion scene in a rom-com movie.

They ran out of the door. The cold wind blew at Kristin and made her shivered.

Idina immediately took off her coat, came closer, and draped it over her shoulder. Their faces just about two inches apart from each other.

"You're gorgeous!" The words slipped out before Kristin even think about it.

Idina smiled.

"Tell me something I don't know."

Kristin stared at her.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

Idina put on her serious face.

"I love you, too."

"Not like that!"

Kristin said and stopped for a beat. Then she stood on tiptoe, put her arm around Idina's neck, and kissed her on the lips.

When their lips met, Idina startled and stepped back.

"I... uh... I forgot... something? I need to take it."

Idina quickly stepped inside. Kristin stood still, watched Idina left. Then she angrily slapped herself.

"You dumb ass, what did you just do, Kristi Dawn?"


	5. Better To Have Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you insane?"

_Better to have loved than never loved at all_   
_Better to have dreamed than never taken the fall_   
_Better to have loved you and let you in_   
_Than never to have touched your skin_

***

Idina came back in, sat at the bar station, gasped. She closed her eyes, and the moment their lips touched emerged in her mind. God knows how much she had to control herself at that moment to stop herself from pulling Kristin closer and slip her tongue in her mouth to taste Kristin's.

Michelle patted her shoulder.

"Idina, are you alright? Have you see Kristin?"

Idina startled after hearing Kristin's name.

"How can I know where she is? She is herself! It's not like I always with her! Did you see anything?"

Michelle confused.

"I don't see her anywhere, so I just ask everyone. It's okay if you don't know either. Are you sick?"

"Yes..."

"You should go back to the hotel and take a rest."

Idina nodded. She waited until Michelle went away and stood up to find Joe.

"Joe, I want to go back to New York."

"What, why? We all will have a short vacation here in San Francisco, remember?"

"Some family's business. I have to go back. Sorry."

"Okay, let find you a cab."

Joe led her to the same door she and Kristin just ran out. Idina, terrified, pulled Joe back.

"Let's go to the other door. I think it will be easier to find a cab that way."

Joe looked at her, questioning.

"Both ways lead to the main road, aren't they?"

Idina didn't reply, pulled Joe to the other door.

–

Joe didn't let Idina go back to New York alone. He came back to the hotel and drove her home in his car.

When they parked in front of Idina's apartment, it was earlier morning. Idina waved Joe goodbye.

"Take some days off, Idina Menzel! Just a few more days and we will know if you could make it to Broadway."

Idina nodded, couldn't have any energy left to say anything. She climbed upstairs, but as she went near to her apartment door, she heard some strange moaning sounds, both man and woman.

She pushed the door. It wasn't locked. The light didn't turn on, but she could still see everything thanks to the morning sun. She lightly stepped inside, bedroom door wide open. As she came closer, the moaning sound was louder.

She stepped in front of the bedroom and looked inside. Taye wasn't alone. There was a man and a woman with him. All of them were naked and too busy doing the pleasure. None of them realized she was there.

Idina's voice shaken.

"Taye?"

All three of them stopped whatever they were doing. Taye turned around to looked at her with a terrified face.

"What are you...?"

Idina couldn't think straight. She didn't know what to do or what to say. Taye quickly pulled a towel to cover his body, run to her.

Before he ran to her, she turned around and ran away.

Idina ran outside, Joe's car was still there, but he wasn't there.

"Idina?"

Idina turned back. Joe was holding a coffee cup and a hamburger.

"Are you okay? You looked like you're about to faint."

"I... I..."

Joe seemed to understand something.

"Do you want to come back to San Francisco with me?"

Idina nodded and cried.

–

Joe drove her back to San Francisco. When they parked in front of the hotel, Idina was so tired she couldn't even move.

Joe sat in the car with her in silence. It took a few minutes since Idina walked out and went into the hotel.

She felt like she could faint right now, so she runs as quickly as possible to the elevator. Luckily, when she came close, the elevator opened. Everyone inside stepped out, and she was the only one who stepped in. She pressed the 6th-floor button, and leaned against the wall, closed her eyes.

The digital number on the elevation screen gradually increases. 1, 2, 3,..., 6.

"Ding"

The elevator door slowly opened. Idina stood up, about to stepped outside. But when the door opened, the person stood right in front of it was Kristin.

"Dee?" Kristin surprised, then immediately looked worried. "What happened? Your face is so pale..."

Kristin stepped up, put her hands up to support her, but Idina pushed her hands away.

"Don't! Please... don't!"

Kristin didn't move. Her heart was aching so badly. Idina stepped outside.

Idina hid in her room all day long. She just laid on the bed, didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't want to do anything. For a few hours, someone would knock her door and call her, but she didn't answer. Almost everyone tried to call her, everyone except Kristin. 

The next day noon, when she was still laying on the bed, she heard a "click" sound of her door open, and then Kristin's sweet voice.

"Thank you so much, sir."

"You're welcome." A strange man's voice reply, and then the footsteps walk away.

Kristin stepped in and locked the door. She went straight to the bedroom, sat near the bed. Idina didn't look at her. She was looking at the ceiling.

"Idina, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking that night? I was drunk, apparently. I shouldn't do it, and it means nothing. Can you please stop avoiding me?"

Idina didn't reply.

"If you... If you didn't want to see me anymore, then I would drop out of the Broadway cast."

"Broadway?"

Kristin realized Idina hadn't heard the news.

"Yeah, we got Gershwin theater."

"Really?"

Idina excited sat up, held Kristin's hand. But then she quickly let her hand go and turned away.

"Amazing!"

"I know."

Silence.

"Joe said we would celebrate tomorrow night."

"Oh."

"Uhm... See you tomorrow night."

–

They had dinner at a five stars restaurant. Everyone sat around a big round table. They were talking and drinking and laughing.

Idina and Kristin still sat right next to each other. From the start till now, Idina didn't say a word or eat anything. She just drank the wine. Kristin didn't have the mood either, she kept the smile on her face, but all her thoughts were about Idina.

Kristin moved a little, adjusted her posture. The problem was that because she sat super close to Idina, so just by that small move, their thighs touched. Both of them were wearing short dresses.

For the first time in the evening, Idina had some reaction. She put the glass on the table and hold the fork by her left hand, and her right hand went under the table and rested on Kristin's naked thigh. Kristin shivered.

Kristin put her hand on Idina's hand. Idina's hand tried to move up, and Kristin's hand tried to push it away.

Idina turned to look at Kristin. They both stared straight at each other's eyes for just a few tick-tocks. But enough for their eyes to make a quiet conversation. Until finally, Kristin signed.

Kristin freed Idina's hand go. Idina immediately slipped her hand under her dress and massaged her thigh.

Idina's hand was always so warm, and the more she massaged her thigh, the more heat Kristin's thigh felt. But the thing between her legs was the hottest spot on her body right now. Like a fire was burning inside.

Idina's hand went close to her panties, and she used one finger to stroke Kristin's panties.

"Ah…"

Kristin moaned softly. Luckily, because everyone else was talking too loud, no one seemed to notice it.

No one except Idina, of course. She wanted to slip her hand out, but Kristin stopped her. Idina looked at Kristin surprisedly. Kristin looked at her and bit her lower lip.

"Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel," Joe called their name, and both jumped a little. Idina slipped her hand out. 

"I don't know how to show my gratitude to you. I know you two had been under so much pressure, more than anyone else sat here. Thank you so much, both of you."

Everyone clapped, Idina and Kristin smiled awkwardly.

"You're welcome." Kristin raised her glass.

"Don't mention it." Idina followed.

Kristin drank all the wine in one sip and stood up.

"Excuse me."

Kristin quickly stepped in the bathroom and washed her face. She could felt her panties were so wet.

The bathroom door opened once again, Idina stepped in. Kristin looked at Idina's reflection on the mirror.

"It was..."

Kristin hadn't finished her sentences. All of a sudden, Idina came close to her, turned her back to face her, then kissed her passionately, one hand supported behind her neck, one hand pull her dress up and slipped the other into her panties.

Kristin pushed Idina away and slapped her. Then she pulled her dress down and gasped. She was never this terrified.

"Are you insane? Do you even know where the fuck we are right now? What if someone stepped in?"


	6. I’m A Fool To Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Will you regret this?"

_I'm a fool to want you_  
 _Pity me, I need you_  
 _I know it's wrong, it must be wrong_  
 _But right or wrong, I can't get along without_ _you_

***

Kristin kneeled on the floor with her hands clasped together. She wanted to pray, but whenever she closed her eyes, she thought of what happened that night. Especially Idina's eyes when she kissed her at the bathroom. A dark gaze full of lust. It haunted her.

Finally, she gave up on praying, stood up, and laid on the bed. Idina's green hoodie was on her bed. She held it and smelled it. It was cold and didn't have any of her scents. Suddenly Kristin remembered Idina once told her:

"It's because I'm wearing it."

She was right. The green hoodie is just a green hoodie. When she kept it apart from Idina, it was nothing more than any other regular green hoodie. No matter how much she tried to imagine, Idina's warmth and her scents would fade away eventually.

That two nights, she held it to go to sleep. It was just like holding a fantasy dream and tried to fool herself.

Kristin looked at the ceiling. Her tears quietly fell. Why it has to be Idina? Why it has to be this feeling?

She wiped her tears, stood up, and ran to the door.

Kristin held the doorknob for a while, then she took a deep breath and opened it.

She walked through the hallway to the room at the corner. Her heart was beating fast, like never before. Her mind told her to stop and turn back, but she kept stepping, only stop right in front of Idina's room.

She raised her hand, ready to knock on the door, but the door suddenly wide opened. Kristin and Idina stood face to face, both extremely surprised to see each other.

Kristin coughed.

"Can I come in?"

Idina didn't reply, but she stood aside so Kristin could step in. Kristin came in and looked around. The last time she came in, she too busy thinking about how to apology Idina so that she didn't notice how her room looks. Now that she was here, the first thing that came to Kristin's mind was that Idina's room is full of her own's warmth and scents. Even though their room looked exactly the same, but something about Idina's place made her felt more comfortable. And the next thing Kristin notice was the messiness. Her clothes were literally everywhere: on the sofa, on the bed, even on the floor. On her table, there were two wine bottles. Both were empty.

Kristin turned around. Idina still stood with her back to her, and hand still held the doorknob.

"Dee, why did you drink so much wine?" Kristin asked worriedly.

Idina sighed and turned around to face her.

"I did drink a little, but I'm not drunk."

"Okay..."

"Kris, I'm so fucking sorry for what happened tonight. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. What I did was so wrong. I..."

Kristin stepped closer to Idina, put one finger on Idina's lips to stopped her. Then she slid her finger down and slowly Idina's bathroom robe. Kristin continued to slide her robe down her shoulder, and then it fell on the floor. Idina didn't say or move.

Inside the robe, Idina was wearing panties only. Kristin looked over her body, her elegant neck, her sharp collarbone, her luscious breasts, her sexy abs. Kristin slowly touched every inch of her skin. She wondered how she could wait that long? Why didn't she realize she wanted to this for so long?

Kristin looked up. In Idina's eyes, she could see the same dark gaze full of lust.

Kristin hugged Idina, whispered.

"I want..."

Idina still didn't move, but her body hardened.

Kristin looked straight at Idina's eyes, repeated.

"I want you."

Right after that, Idina kissed her like crazy. She bit her lower lip, Kristin opened her mouth to form an "Ah" sound. Idina's tongue immediately slid into Kristin's mouth, finding hers and beginning an elegant dance as they intertwined. They broke the kiss when they both were out of breathing. Both gasped.

"Will you regret this?" Idina asked softly.

Kristin shook her head firmly.

"Never."

That was all Idina need to hear. She reconnected their lips and quickly took off all of Kristin's clothes except her panties. 

Kristin hugged Idina once again. Their breast pressed against each other, and they could feel the pain and excitement at the same time. Idina lifted her, and Kristin immediately wrapped her legs around her hips, so natural as if she had done it a thousand times.

Idina carried her to the bed and slowly sat on the edge of the bed. Kristin sat on Idina's thigh. They both kept kissing passionately. Idina's hand squeezed Kristin's breast and then gently massage it. They broke the kiss, Idina head-downed and licked her tits. Kristin gasped and pulled Idina's hair.

But then, all of a sudden, Idina stopped. Kristin looked at Idina confusing, only to realize Idina was crying.

Kristin wiped all the tears on Idina's face. Her heart was so aching.

"Kristi, I'm sorry. I can't... I can't... Not now..." Idina choked.

"If you don't want to..."

"I want it! I really want to. But not now..." Idina held her tight. "Can you just sleep beside me tonight?"

Kristin nodded.

So they both laid on the bed right now to each other, and both were wearing just panties.

Idina pulled the blanket to cover their almost naked bodies and gently stroked her hair, softly said.

"The other night, when I came back to New York, I caught Taye cheating on me in my bedroom. He did that before, but I thought he would change after he married me."

"I'm sorry."

"I just want you to know that I can't do it tonight because I don't want to act like him. And more importantly, I don't want to turn you into a revenge tool. You deserve so much more."

Kristin spoke with a halt.

"Do you love me?"

Idina held her tight and nodded.

"I do, more than I dare to admit."

"It's enough for me."

"No, it's not. I will give you so much more than that. I will give you everything you deserve to have. I will make you the happiest woman in this world."

"Just by lying here next to you right now, I feel happier than ever."

They both quieted for a while. Then suddenly, Idina giggled.

"To be honest, it's a good thing we stopped in the middle. Because I don't fucking know how to do it. Well, not yet."

Kristin laughed.

"So, you never do it with a woman?"

"Never."

"How could you got cast for Maureen?"

"It's a hilarious story. When I came to the casting, they did ask if I ever kissed a woman before. I didn't want to say no, so I held a female assistant who stood super close to me, and I kissed her, with tongue. She was freak out. For three months, she would run away every time she saw me. I felt so guilty."

"Did that really happened? A shy girl like you could be kissed some stranger just for a casting? Really?"

"Oh, believe me, I will show you how wild I can be."

Kristin grinned.

"We will see."

Idina kissed her forehead and whispered.

"Goodnight, baby."

Kristin smiled sweetly.

"Goodnight, honey."


	7. Take Me Or Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are done!"

_Take me for what I am_   
_Who I was meant to be_   
_And if you give a damn_   
_Take me baby or leave me_

***

Today was a beautiful day. Idina knew it for sure.

Not only was it the "Wicked" premiere day on Broadway, but also the day Idina ends her false marry. All good things.

So, that morning, when Idina walked on the street, she though all those strange faces is so adorable.

Idina came back to her apartment, he wasn't there, but she didn't care anyway. She took the divorce files on the table, and she already signed it. She realized this small apartment is cute.

Then she met Kristin at a cafe shop. They had breakfast together. Even the expresso seemed so sweet. And Kristin, Kristin was still Kristin, as beautiful as every single day. And her smile always brightened the world. But even the most beautiful woman still be more beautiful, is that even impossible?

The premiere on Broadway was a success, ended with a standing ovation. Even though she kinda saw that coming, but it was so amazing when it actually happened.

And that night, they both came to Kristin's apartment. They had sex for the first time and all night long until they were tiredly fell to sleep. It was the best way to end a perfect day.

-

Kristin woke up, and the first thing she saw was Idina's sleeping face. Listening to her rhythmic sleeping breaths and watching her peaceful smiling face was enough to make Kristin feel so happy. Happy, and warm, and sweet. This must be one of the happiest moments of her life. Simply just wake up and see your loved one lying beside you. 

Kristin slowly got up, tried not to wake Idina. She stepped one step away and then suddenly turned back, kissed Idina's forehead. When she broke the kiss, Idina placed hands around her neck, pulled her down, and kissed her lips. Then she pressed Kristin's face to her naked breast. Her voice was sleepily hoarse.

"Kris, sleep with me..."

Kristin pulled Idina's hands away from her.

"No, honey. You sleep, and I will make you breakfast."

"Okay. I love you, baby..."

"I love you too, honey."

Kristin took a shower and wore a bathrobe. She was making breakfast while humming a song. Half an hour later, on the table, there were two dishes that a little too big for breakfast and two glass of warm milk. Kristin heard the footstep in her bedroom, then the sound of the shower running and Idina's humming sound.

Kristin took the time to decor the disk as well as the knife and fork until she was happy with the result. Idina hadn't done yet. Kristin looked around and realized her room was still in the dark. So she pulled the window curtain aside. Outside, it was beautifully sunny. Morning sunbeams filled the room immediately, brighten the room, and dazzled her eyes.

Kristin stood still, her tears quietly fell.

They said: "The calm before the storm."

Idina wore a bathrobe and stepped close to her. She hugged Kristin from behind with her hands around her waist, and her chin leaned on the top of her head. She softly said.

"Good morning, baby."

Kristin didn't response.

Idina was worried.

"Baby, what happened?"

Kristin still didn't reply. She turned around and hugged Idina tightly with her face on Idina's chest. Her tears kept falling.

Idina gently stroke her hair, rashly said.

"Baby, please don't cry. I'm here."

Then suddenly, Idina's body hardened. She slowly pushed Kristin away and stepped one step back.

"Look at me!"

Kristin didn't dare to look up. Her tears fell on the floor.

"Kristi..."

Kristin shook her head, she tried to speak, but she couldn't. She just wanted to hug Idina. But Idina stepped back one more step. Idina stood there for a minute and felt her heart aching so much. Finally, Idina turned around and went into Kristin's bedroom.

After a few minutes, Kristin finally reacted. She ran to her bedroom door. Idina already wore her last night's dress.

"Dee..."

Idina slowly went close to Kristin. Her eyes were empty, she softly said.

"Tell me, what do you want?"

"I... I don't know..."

"It's the opposite. You know it so well."

"Dee, can you imagine what we would have to deal with if we came out? We will end our own career."

"You finally admitted it. Is your career more important than love? More important than me?"

Kristin wiped her tears, coldly said.

"Love cannot feed us."

Idina was shocked.

"It's so funny! It's so hilarious!"

Idina stepped out. Kristin held her wrist, her voice calm.

"Am I wrong? For all those years, all of my efforts, all of your efforts, it can't be wasted."

Idina turned around and looked straight to Kristin's eyes. Kristin saw something broke in her eyes, and then something built up to stop Kristin from reading her emotions.

"Right. You're right. You're fucking right. I have nothing to say."

"So what is it look like in your beautifully bubbly fantasy? We come out right after your divorce? And the world suddenly become so fucking perfect? Everyone calls us the Broadway's golden lesbian couple? What about my parents? All of a sudden, they okay with gay, invite you to come for dinner and ask us when would we get married?"

"I didn't say we have to come out right after my divorce."

"Then, when? When is the perfect time for any of this? The world is changing, but not that fast. Ten years from now, nothing to guarantee they will accept a lesbian couple."

"You want to talk about gay couples in show business? I can give you tons of examples of gay people who are so successful."

Idina sarcasm laughed.

"Don't talk bullshit me. If you want to break up with me, why don't you just say that?"

"I don't..."

"You know what your problem is? That's you can't do commitment. You run away when things get serious. But hey, at least the last time you could engage for three years. But I, I don't even fucking deserve to hold your hand in public."

Kristin stunned.

"We are done!" Idina said firmly.

Kristin stood there, dumbfounded. She never saw Idina that cold, and that gaze looked so strange. 

Idina wrenched her hand out of her grasp, walked to the door.

"Idina!" Kristin shouted desperately.

Idina stopped right in front of the door, and her hand was holding the doorknob.

"I love you..." Kristin's voice choked with sobs.

Idina didn't reply. She turned the doorknob, stepped out, and slammed the door.

Kristin leaned on the door and slid down the floor. Tears covered her eyes, and the world was all blur.

-

Idina walked like a soulless. She thought she would feel her heartbroken, that her tears would fall unstoppable. But strangely, she didn't feel anything. Not sad nor happy, didn't want to talk, didn't want to sing, didn't want to cry, didn't want to laugh, didn't want to breathe, didn't want to live.

She was dead inside.

She just kept walking, through the crowd, back to her apartment.

Idina opened the door, and she saw Taye sat near the table. He clasped his hands and leaned his forehead on it. The divorce files were on the table, exactly where she put it yesterday morning.

Heard the door open sound, he looked up, called her name.

"Dee..."

He looked terrible, dark circles around his eyes. But who knew, he was a good actor.

"Don't you dare call me that..." Idina short-winded.

"Idina..."

He called her name, but she didn't say anything. She was exhausted.

She walked to the table, opened the divorce files. He hadn't signed it.

"Idina, I'm sorry! I was wrong! I love you. I love you more than anyone else. Please don't leave me..."

He stood up, tried to hug her, but she stepped back two steps.

"I don't want to divorce anymore. I think you don't want to either. Let's have an open marriage. You can sleep with anyone, suit yourself. Just not me. We will sleep separately. You mustn't touch me. I'm not promiscuous like you, but if I ever slept with someone else, I would only do that with a woman."

He was surprised, then excited, and finally confusing.

"Slept with a woman? You're... bisexual too?"

Idina didn't answer. She sat down on the chair opposite with him, tiredly close her eyes, and leaned on its back.

Taye continued.

"No matter who I sleep with, I always wear condoms. Don't you worry, there won't be any after-effect."

"When I decide to have kids, this open thing must stop."

"Of course."


	8. Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you heard the rumor? We hate each other."

_Don't let the last time I hurt you_   
_Be the last time I heard you_   
_Don't let the last time I held you_   
_Be the last time I felt you_

***

Since that day, Idina didn't talk with Kristin. When Kristin tried to approach her, she immediately went away. They still met each other at least 16 hours a day, but both pretended the other wasn't exist. That happened for a month.

On the stage, Idina still acted her Elphaba perfectly. She talked with Glinda on the stage. She held Glinda's hand on the stage. She hugged Glinda on the stage. All of that was Elphaba and Glinda, not Idina and Kristin anymore. Sometimes when they acted together, Kristin looked at Idina's eyes, she could saw the love and forgiveness just like before, and every touch, every hug was warm and gently just like before.

Kristin wondered if Idina still loved her, or she only loved her Glinda. Or worse, she only loved Glinda, no matter who played the character, and she would soon be replaced. That thought made Kristin's heart aching so much she felt like she couldn't breathe.

Because of the way they were publicly avoiding each other at the theater, rumor had it that they couldn't stand each other. But they both busied handle their own feelings, none of them even cared to deny it. If people wanted to believe it, then let them, maybe someday, Idina and Kristin would believe that they hate each other too. It would be much easier if they simply just hate each other.

-

Today supposed to be an off day, but Joe asked her to come to the theater. When Idina walked by Kristin's dressing room, she could hear Joe's voice from inside, and he mentioned the word "contract".

Idina walked to her dressing room and sat on her sofa. She played with her Elphaba's hat.

Joe stopped in front of her room and knocked on her opening door.

Idina looked up and smiled at Joe.

Joe stepped in, half-closed the door. He held some papers in his hand. Joe pulled a chair and sat opposite her, gave her those papers. Right on the first page, she could see the word "Contract" that so eye-catching.

She didn't read it, opened the last page, and outstretched her left hand. Joe gave her a pen. She quickly signed and gave the contract and the pen back to Joe.

Joe sighed, took the contract.

"They double pay you." Joe slowly said.

"Great." Idina said, not seemed to be happy at all, continued to play with the hat.

Joe looked at her for a few seconds and stood up, but then suddenly sat down again.

"You and Chenoweth, what happened between you two?"

"Have you heard the rumor? We hate each other."

"Well, I'm glad you two didn't let your messy emotions affect your professional. Normally I could just don't give a shit of whatever you feel. But I think... I think I care about you two more than I thought."

"Awww! Thank you so much!"

"You both are my friends. Besides, you and Chenoweth were born to play Elphaba and Glinda. I don't think anyone could replace you two. I don't want anyone to leave so early."

Idina surprisedly looked at Joe, but Joe stopped talking and went outside.

Idina quietly listened to his footsteps fade away. She stood up, walked around her room, played with her own hands. Should I or shouldn't I?

Idina stopped, looked at the opening door, she spoke out loud.

"Idina Menzel, you can do it!"

Idina walked straight to Kristin's dressing room.

Her dressing room door was wide open. Kristin was sitting at her make-up table. She looked up and saw Idina's reflection on the mirror. Kristin smiled.

"Wow! Idina Menzel truly can do it. So proud of her!"

Idina embarrassed.

"You can hear that?"

"I could hear you even if I stood on the stage."

They both laughed, a delightful laugh.

Idina stepped in, pull a chair, and sat next to Kristin. She could see the contract on Kristin's make-up table.

Idina looked at Kristin's reflection on the mirror.

"They double pay this time."

"Congrats, more money for you to waste on green clothes."

"And black. Black is this year pink, isn't it?"

They laughed again, their reflection on the mirror sat right next to each other and looked so happy.

"Actually, I have enough green and black clothes. I don't know what to do with that much money. Do you want to be triple pay?"

"Oh, really? Then you will have to give me at least 75% of your salary. Do you know my starting salary is higher than you?"

Idina seriously nodded her head.

"Less money, more saving."

"Then what if I want to be quadruple pay?"

"I will tell Joe to give you the rest. He didn't need to buy any new clothes anyway. Besides, he just admitted that he couldn't live without you!"

"Maybe I should marry Joe. There are chances I could have all of his salaries!"

"What? He hasn't married yet?"

"Who knows, he never mentions it."

They giggled.

Idina looked down. Both of her hands held Kristin's hand, gently stroked it. When their hand touched, it immediately felt like an electric current ran through them. This one was different than all the other hand holding on the stage this month. It wasn't Elphaba holding Glinda's hand. It was Idina holding Kristin's hand.

Idina kept stroke Kristin's hand, didn't look up.

"You already have your decision, haven't you?"

"I got an offer from LA. They wrote me my own character."

"Wow, Miss. Cheno, it's so amazing."

"Yes."

"But I hate LA!"

"I know!"

"Do you pay you better than here?"

"Nowhere could be better than here!"

They both understood she didn't talk about money.

Idina didn't speak anymore. She stroked Kristin's hand for a few more seconds and finally let her hand go. Kristin felt lost like her heart was falling into a bottomless pit.

Idina stood up and took Kristin's contract.

"Let me help you throw it away."

Idina turned back and walked to the door. Kristin immediately ran to the door and locked it.

The contract on Idina's hand fell on the floor. Idina stepped up, her hands held Kristin's hands above her head, and pushed them on the door. Idina kissed Kristin passionately. The kiss was so wild, crazy, and possessive. She bit Kristin's lower lips, which make Kristin opened her mouth to gasp. Idina's tongue immediately slid into her mouth. She held both of Kristin's hand with her right hand, and her left hand slid down, came inside her dress, and pulled her panties down. She put three fingers into Kristin.

Hurt and lust and hurt, that was everything Kristin could feel that moment.

One tear slid down on Kristin's cheek. The salty taste made Idina stopped and frowned. She wiped Kristin's tear. Then she did it gently. Her lips slowly pressed on Kristin's lips, Idina picked her up by her ass and lifted her to the sofa. Kristin naturally wrapped her legs around Idina's hips. Idina slowly put Kristin on the couch and kneel, pulled Kristin's panties down, and licked her wet core. Kristin pulled Idina's hair, moaned.

"Dee... Dee..."


	9. Mine To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stay with me... I'm gonna miss you..."

_You were mine just enough_   
_That each breath I take keeps getting tough_   
_And every kiss is running out of time_   
_You were mine, but you were never mine to love_

***

They only had a few months left together. They both understood they have to treasure every moment of it.

Idina moved into Kristin's apartment. Every single day was so peaceful, sweet, and happy.

In the morning, Kristin would wake up before Idina and make breakfast. Idina tried to wake up early once, but the result wasn't good if you don't want to say it was terrible. They both were almost late for rehearsal routine and starving until noon. Not to mention Idina repeatedly yawn during rehearsal, which made Joe so mad. After that, they both agreed Kristin should do all the cooking stuff.

Most of those days, both of them would have to do a rehearsal routine for a few hours in the morning. Then they would go to a nearby restaurant, had lunch together. And then they went back to the theater, took a nap together, and prepared for the show.

In their rarely off-day, they would hire some DVD, stayed at home all day. They took a nap after the movie, or sometime during it if the film were terrible. In the evening, they would do a romantic dinner home, with flowers and candles.

But no matter what day it is, somethings never changed. That at the end of the day, they would have some rounds of sex until they're tired, then cuddle in spoon posture and fall asleep together.

"Goodnight honey, I love you."

"Goodnight baby, I love you too."

They made it a tradition to tell each other that sentences before sleep.

–

On Idina's birthday, she told Kristin that Kristin just needed to turn herself into a present, and Idina would do the rest.

Idina blindfolded Kristin and drove to a secret place in the midnight. They went to a small house near a beach where no one was around, arrived right on time to see the sunrise.

Idina and Kristin had the time of their life on the beach with all kinds of activities until both of them were tired.

They came into the house and prepared a simple dinner. After that, Kristin insisted she wouldn't take a shower together. Idina took a shower first, and when she had done, she stepped out wearing a white shirt and panties.

Kristin took the initiative and kissed Idina, then took off her shirt.

"Time for your birthday present!"

Kristin said and slid a finger from Idina's lips to her naked breast, down below her stomach and hooked her finger in Idina's panties and pulled her to the bed. Kristin pushed her to sat down on the bed, looked at Idina with love.

"Wait for me here, sit still, and don't move honey."

Kristin said and came into the bathroom with her purse. When she stepped out, she only wore black harness underwear, and there was a cuff on her hand. Idina blushed, her body immediately increased heat.

Kristin sat on Idina's lap with her back to Idina's face and her wrist behind her back, and she waved the cuff.

Idina coughed.

"What are you doing?"

"You told me you want me to be your present, so I obey. I tied myself already, but I need some help here."

Idina sniffed her, then cuffed her wrist. Finally, Idina turned Kristin around to face her.

"What is your safe word?" Idina sounded hoarse.

"What?"

"You planned this but didn't know you need a safe word?"

"What will you do to me?"

"I don't know just yet. But I highly recommend you think of a safe word, to protect yourself just in case."

Kristin looked into Idina's eyes, and she saw love only.

"Then, I choose the word 'Dee'."

Idina buried her face in Kristin's neck and giggled.

"It would be challenging for me to know which 'Dee' is a safe word."

"It truly the word that brings me safe."

Idina didn't reply. Her hands squeezed Kristin's boobs. Kristin gasped because of the pain. Idina immediately slid her tongue into Kristin's mouth and kissed her passionately.

They had the most unforgettable sex that night.

After the sex, Kristin lay on her stomach and gasped. Idina took off all the stuff on Kristin's body and kissed every hickey, then hugged her tightly against her chest.

"I'm exhausted."

"It will teach you a lesson to not messing with me!"

Kristin giggled, hugged Idina. Idina gently stroke her hair and looked at the starry sky through the glass window.

After a long time, Idina suddenly whispered, more like talking to herself.

"Stay with me… I'm gonna miss you…"

Kristin hadn't sleep yet. She heard it but didn't reply.

–

It wasn't until the day they had to rehearsal the song "Defying Gravity" for the Tony night that they realized they were both nominated for best leading actress.

Both were very competitive. They told each other:

"Finally, my chance to win a Tony. I will be good enough for you, baby."

"Don't worry, honey. Even though I will win two Tonys, I won't disparage your achievement."

Idina smiled and hugged Kristin.

"If I do not win, you have to."

"I only accept the fact that I lose to you."

That the only conversation they had that mention the Tony award. To be honest, they didn't want to waste their time thinking about winning or losing.

In the end, Idina won.

–

Kristin's last Wicked show in short: When Kristin tried not to cry, she would cry. When Idina tried not to cry, she would laugh.

And when Idina hugged her and told her to stay, it was utterly broke Kristin's heart.

"I can't..." Kristin said in sobs, right in the middle of the stage.

After the curtain closed, Kristin sneaked into Idina's dressing room. She walked into her room while Idina was taking a shower and degreenify. Idina was naked under the shower, wearing a bathing cap. When she saw Kristin, she immediately covered her bare breast, pretended to be shy.

"Kristin Chenoweth, what do you want to do with me?"

Kristin laughed, looked at Idina's lower and sexier part, which she didn't mind to cover, and winked.

"Oh, stop it. I do you every night."

Idina spoke in a childish voice.

"You naughty girl!"

Kristin came close, Idina pulled her out.

"What are you doing? Your clothes will get wet."

"I want to take a shower with you."

Even though Kristin said so, she didn't take off her clothes right away. She helped Idina scrub the green out of her body.

They took a shower together, but nothing romantic happened. Then they sneaked out of Kristin's farewell party after ten minutes, successfully stole two fine wine bottles.

They went to the glass rooftop florist and sat next to each other just like the last time, and they looked at the starry night.

"When will you come to LA?"

"26th. I want to celebrate my birthday here at home."

Kristin kissed Idina's cheek and rested her head on Idina's shoulder.

"Then we have one week left."

"Yeah."

Both sat silently for a long time. The stars weren't as bright as the last time.

Idina rested her head on Kristin's.

"Can we go home now? I'm cold." Kristin said.

"Okay. But just so you know, we so not going to have sex tonight."

Kristin pouted.

"Why, honey?"

"Punish you for not stay even though I asked you to and made me cry during 'For Good'."

Every second was counting down.

–

On Idina's birthday, she told Kristin that Kristin just needed to turn herself into a queen, and Idina would do the rest.

Once again, Idina blindfolded Kristin and drove to a secret place in the midnight. They arrived in the early morning of the next day. When Idina took off the blindfold, Kristin saw a small house that looked familiar and strange at the same time. It was her new house in LA. Denny chose it for her and sent her the picture once.

Idina held one big carton, stood next to Kristin, looked at the house, and nodded.

"It's so beautiful!"

"Why...?"

"I talked to Denny, and he sent me the key. I don't want you to come to a new place alone. Come on!"

Idina opened the door, and they walked in. Inside, it was pretty empty, only had some basic furniture.

"Let's decor it!"

Idina said and put the carton on the floor, opened it. Kristin looked Inside and saw her familiar stuff. The picture of her family on her 16th birthday, her favorite nightlamp, the Glinda doll a kid fan made for her, and even Idina's green hoodie, which she loved. A few days later, she would realize that the hoodie was the only thing belonging to Idina that she brought.

Kristin stood still, quietly crying while watching Idina walked around and put all the stuff in their place. When she was done, the house seemed warmer, every corner filled with her scent.

"My queen, can I bring you to the bedroom and serve you?" Idina stood in front of Kristin, wiped her tears, and asked her softly.

Kristin shook her head and took off Idina's shirt only to realize she didn't wear a bra. She buried her face in her naked breast and took off her pants only to realize she didn't wear panties either.

They had sex all day for two days. They had sex everywhere in the house, didn't want to miss a corner. After a while, the whole house filled with the smell of sweat and sex.

On the day 26th, when Kristin woke up in the morning, she didn't see Idina's sleeping face right beside her. Instead, it was a note on the pillow with Idina's left hand scrabble: "I will always love you, baby".

Kristin sat up and saw two keys on the bedside table. One was her New York apartment key, and one was her Los Angeles house key.

Kristin walked out of the bedroom. Her house was still filled with all the stuff Idina brought to and the smell of sweats and sex, but it was so cold.

She ran to the sofa, took the green hoodie on it, and wore it on. Then she slid down the floor and busted out crying.

–

Idina lay on her bed at her old apartment in New York, looked at the ceiling. She didn't cry.

Her phone vibrated. Kristin's message.

'My home was back to New York'

Idina put her phone aside, closed her eyes. Her tears slowly fell.

She didn't reply.


	10. You Learn To Live Without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eight months of torture yourself here is more than enough. Set yourself free, Menzel!"

_You learn to speak so calmly when_   
_Your heart would like to scream and shout_   
_You learn to stop, and breathe, and smile_   
_You learn to live without_

***

They didn't keep in touch. They still lived in the same country, but it seemed like two different worlds.

Every night, Idina read Kristin's last message and cried till she slept. There were countless times she wanted to reply. But at first, it was because she didn't know how to respond. And then the more time passed by, the more impossible to answer.

After Kristin left, Idina finally realized that New York was an oppressive city.

She also realized that New York City was so small. It seemed like they walked to every corner of it before. That cafe where they used to have breakfast together, that pizza restaurant was their most favorite, that bakery where they bought two chocolate cookies for the first time they came only to throw them all away because it was so terrible, that smoothie shop which they would buy one extra large and every time they walked by,... The list kept going.

And the glass rooftop florist. After Kristin left the city, Idina never came to the florist.

But the most torture was in the Gershwin theater. More than anywhere, this was the place that full of Kristin Chenoweth and their memories. The picture of Idina as Elphaba and Kristin as Glinda still hang right beside the door, which means Idina would see it every time she came no matter how hard she tried not to. But for Idina, the most hurtful spot in the Gershwin theater was Glinda's actress dressing room. On that pink door, the name below the star icon wasn't Kristin's name anymore, but it only made her heart broke more. Every single time she walked by that door, she tried to step as fast as she could, and tried so hard not to bust out crying there.

Months went by, but that door still made Idina suffocated. 

-

Today was Broadway dark Monday, which means an off day. Idina planned to sleep till noon, but someone's call woke her up at seven in the morning. Idina frowned when she looked at the phone. It was Dan - her ex-boyfriend, aka the real owner of the glass rooftop florist. Idina answered the phone.

"Hey, Dee. Have some free time?"

"No," Idina said and yawned.

"I was right. Today is your off-day, just as I thought. Wake up now, come to the florist. I need to tell you something."

"Can you just tell me through the phone?"

"If you wanted to see this florist for the last time, you came here right now."

Idina sat up, fully awaked.

"What do you mean?"

"Come over."

Dan said and hung up the phone. Idina sighed, lay back to bed. She wanted to continue to sleep. He could do whatever he wanted. She didn't care. But she couldn't sleep anymore. At last, she decided to go to the florist.

When she arrived, Dan had already there. He was smoking cigarettes.

"What happened? Why there isn't anyone? What you mean by saying saw it for the last time?" Idina stepped in and shot three questions.

Dan slowly turned to see her and smiled.

"Haven't meet you for almost half of a year, and you haven't changed at all."

"Answer me!"

Dan patted the place next to him. Idina stepped by and sat on it. He gave her a cigarette, but she pushed his hand away.

"I decided to sell the florist. I'm getting married. I won't try to come back to New York every month anymore. This place is meaningless now." Dan slowly said.

"Wow, congrats. Who is this lucky lady?"

Dan grinned and opened the images on his phone. All of them were his fiancee's picture.

"Her name is Elizabeth, five years old younger than me, med student and part-time model,..."

Dan kept talking passionately. When he finished, he looked up and watched Idina slowly turned her head and looked around the florist.

"If you wanted, I could sell it to you for a good price."

Idina looked at him and laughed.

"I don't have that much money."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You haven't a Broadway star, have you? No, wait, you are!"

Idina giggled. She looked around once more time.

"How much is your good price?"

"Suit yourself. As long as it's not too little that it seems like I give it to you."

Idina thought for a while.

"Please let me think about it for a day. I will give you the answer tomorrow morning."

"Sure."

Idina looked at the sky. It was the morning. Therefore she could only see white clouds in the sky. There wasn't any star. Idina unconsciously cry.

Dan stood up, gave her a cigarette again. This time she took it, wiped her tears, and put the cigarette in her mouth but didn't lit it. 

"Who is that?" Dan slowly asked.

"KC." Idina said softly.

Dan thought about it and then patted her shoulder, left the florist.

Idina lighted the cigarette. She was smoking and looking up the sky. She just sat there, waited for the night. That night, the stars were blurry.

The next morning, Dan came back. Idina wasn't there anymore. She put the key on the table.

A few days later, Dan called to told her that he already sell it. Idina thought for a long while. Finally, she sent Kristin a short message:

'The florist was sold.'

Kristin didn't reply. Idina thought, maybe now, that florist is meaningless for her too.

-

One more show was done. After the curtain closed, Idina walked to her dressing room and saw Joe inside. He held the contract.

Idina sat at the opposite, hugged Joe, and cried. Joe stroked her back. After a long hug, Idina wiped her tears.

"Joe, I'm sorry." Idina choked.

"It's okay. I know you won't sign it. I'm here to make sure you won't lose your mind and sign it again."

Idina didn't say a word, looked down the floor.

Joe patted Idina's shoulder.

"Eight months of torture yourself here is more than enough. Set yourself free, Menzel!"

Joe stood up, tore the contract in half, and throw it to the garbage can. Then he walked out and closed the door.

Eight months of torture yourself here, is it really enough?

-

Finally, Idina left 'Wicked' with a physically hurt. Fell down the trap door and broke a rib the night before her last show. Idina thought that it was the last torture the Gershwin theater gives her.

A long, long time after, she knew that Kristin was planning to come and see her last show. She did go back to New York that day, but she didn't come to the hospital to meet her. It felt like something prevented them from meeting each other again.

But her connection with 'Wicked' hadn't ended. She got invited to perform Elphaba once again in London, and the number they gave her was appealing. She thought, maybe in a city far far away with nothing to remind her of that person anymore, perhaps she would enjoy playing Elphaba again. Yes, she knew that person wouldn't accept the invitation. She heard that person had a new lover who is the creator of the show that person is doing. She was truly happy that person got the success that person deserves so much.

It just, sometimes, she wished that person could come back and be her Glinda one more time.


	11. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's really you. In my dream, I can't remember what you taste like anymore. I thought I forgot you."

_And we'll be better off apart_   
_Our only hope is change_   
_And we never will_   
_But something has to change_

***

Kristin's phone rang while she was watching TV.

She tiredly took the phone, but when she saw the name on the phone, her heart immediately beat fast.

"Dee?"

"Baby, what are you doing?"

Kristin frowned.

"Idina, are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not drunk. I can still sing. I will sing for you!"

Idina on the phone started to sing: "And IIIII... Will always love youuuu...". Her voice sounded so drunk, but she still nailed every single high note. To be honest, Kristin was quite impressed.

Kristin stood up while listening to Idina belt the song. She opened her laptop, searched for the time difference between Los Angeles and London. London is 7 hours ahead of Los Angeles, so in London, it was almost 6 am.

"Why are you so drunk in that early of the morning?" Kristin sounded angry.

Idina stopped singing. 

"What? I'm not drinking much. I only drank two bottles... Or more? I think we played truth or drink last night, but I always chose to drink. LOL, she thought I don't dare to drink..."

"She?"

"Yeah. Helen... My new Glinda... Forgot to tell you, I'm doing the West End thing..."

Heard Idina referenced Helen as her new Glinda, Kristin's heart aching.

"Your new Glinda? Did you sleep with her too?"

"No, not just sleep... We had sex, all night long... She was the first person I had sex with after you... But not a one-night stand. It was two, four, five... I dunno, couldn't count."

Kristin's heart stopped beating for a few seconds. They had sex, and not just one time.

"Why?"

"Cuz she's a lot like you. Except she's taller and less cute, also your voice is way better... Actually, she's nothing like you, but she looked amazing in that pink dress..."

"Where are you right now?"

Kristin searched for the earliest plane ticket to London.

"Huh? I'm in London. Don't you know West End?"

"I mean, which hotel?"

"Yes, it's a hotel. They rented a really really big room, really really beautiful room... For me."

"Which hotel? What's room number?" Kristin asked again.

Kristin bought the ticket and stood up.

"I don't know... Well..."

Idina stopped talking for a few seconds.

"Hello, are you the receptionist? Can you tell her which hotel and which room I'm at, please!"

Kristin held a phone with one hand and took her suitcase out.

"Royalty Hotel, room 1506, right? Thanks. Can you hear that, Kris?"

Even though she was mad right now, Kristin must admit the drunk Idina was so adorable. She understood now why Idina usually drink two glass top. But then she thought about how Idina was drunk with another woman, and then they had a lot of drunken sex.

"Idina Menzel, wait right there. You will see my rage soon."

Idina giggled on the phone.

"I'm so sleepy, baby... Goodnight baby, I love you."

"Goodnight honey, I love you too."

-

It was until she on the plane, Kristin realized how crazy she was.

Took some day off, bought a plane ticket in the midnight, and flight nearly 12 hours to come to London. For what? Why didn't she ask herself that question any sooner?

To be honest, she always ready to do so much more than this so she could meet Idina. For two years, she thought she already forgot her. She dated someone else, had some short but good time with them.

But only because of one phone call from Idina, she suddenly realized, for two years, she wasn't happy at all. The house she lived for two years still didn't seem like a home to her. And she finally understood that her heart lost in Idina Menzel's hand a long, long time ago.

-

Kristin stood in front of room 1506, took a deep breath, and knocked.

"Who's that?"

Idina's voice called out. It seemed like she was sober now.

The more her footsteps came closer, the more Kristin's heart beat faster.

The door wide opened, Idina's face appeared in front of her. For only a second, her face turned from smiling to surprising, and then... terrifying.

Idina suddenly slammed her door and re-opened it. This time, she looked so happy. She touched Kristin's cheek.

"Kristi, is this really you?"

"Dee..."

Idina pulled her in her chest, held her so tight.

"I know you will be gone when I wake up. Can I hold you as long as possible?"

"Dee, you aren't dreaming. I'm here, and I'm real."

Idina shook her head.

"You said that every dream, I won't believe you anymore."

Kristin's heart ached so much.

They parted away and looked at each other for a long time. Then their face slowly came closer, and their lips touched. Gentle and full-of-love. Their tongue found each other and danced together. They kissed each other as naturally as they breathe, and like they had done that a thousand times.

After the kiss, Kristin saw Idina's face full of tears. She about to wiped the taller woman's tears, but suddenly Idina put her hand up and wiped tears on Kristin's face. She realized she was crying too.

"It's really you. In my dream, I can't remember what you taste like anymore. I thought I had forgotten you."

-

Idina insisted that she want them to go to a bakery near Buckingham's place. Kristin was worried someone would recognize them.

"Kristi, please! I swear no one will recognize me when I'm degreenify. You can wear a wig and sunglasses if you want to!"

Finally, Kristin wore sunglasses and a big hat, and Idina only wore street clothes. Idina was right, though. No one recognized them.

The bakery was in a corner, and she and Idina were two of four customers. 

They had afternoon tea with some cookies and desserts. And Idina told her all her story in London, all of them involved Helen. Helen this, Helen that, Helen did what, Helen said what,...

Suddenly, Idina looked at her watch and panicked.

"Oh shit! I have to go to the theater now. Can you go with me? Kristi, please..."

Kristin nodded. She couldn't resist Idina's puppy eyes. And besides, she wanted to meet the woman named Helen.

-

Because the tickets sold out, and she didn't want to risk being recognized, she was standing in the wings to watch the show.

Helen saw her and greeted her once, but she only nodded and didn't respond. After that, Helen seemed kind of affair of her and didn't dare to talk to her. She tried not to judge Helen because she knew she was in a low mood and wouldn't give a fair judgment.

The show started.

Kristin realized that was the first time she watched Idina played Elphaba, but she wasn't her Glinda.

She planned to see Idina's last show, but the trap door accident happed. It felt like something prevented them from meeting each other again.

So this time, when she stood in the wings and watched the full show, she knew that watching someone else being Idina's Glinda was a painful experience.

-

After the show, they backed to Idina's hotel room. Right after they stepped into the room, Idina told her.

"I almost forget. Helen invited us to have dinner with her tomorrow. Do you want to go?"

"You know what? I'm tired of hearing about Helen." Kristin raised her voice.

"What?" Idina was surprised.

"Since I came here, all you do was told me about her and how much fun you two had together! I got it. You're happy with her. You two enjoy every moment together. Is this because I'm here, you two cannot have sex all night tonight?"

"Kristin, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Have you heard you? You only talk about you, you, you. You didn't even ask how I am. Do you know how miserable I was to live without you for two years?"

"I didn't ask cuz I do know!"

"What?" Kristin's turned to be surprised.

"I keep in touch with Denny. I call him to ask about you every week. And if you care about, even just a little, you will know that I was miserable too, because I told him everything, in case you want to ask about me. But you never did, and you never try to know about me. So fuck you, Kristin Chenoweth! Don't you fucking dare to talk about how careless I was! Fuck you!"

Kristin stunned, and Idina sat down the floor and busted out crying. Kristin's heart hurt so much. She came close and kneel in front of her, stroker her back.

"Dee, I'm sorry..."

Idina stood up and lifted Kristin, laid her on the bed. She kissed her like she was losing her mind. Then she tore her dress off.

Idina stopped and took her time to admire Kristin's fully naked body.

Idina slowly bent down again to kiss her neck gently. She left a lot of hickeys on it. Before, they never dare to leave marks on an exposed place like their neck.

The kisses slipped down to her collarbone, her boobs, her stomach. Hickeys appeared every corner of her skin.

And finally, Idina's lips touched Kristin's wet core. She made her climax three times with her tongue and fingers. 

After that, Idina stood up and walked to the bathroom. Kristin was left alone on the bed, heavy breath.

The whole process, Idina didn't take off her clothes.

A few minutes passed by, then Kristin got off the bed, walked to the bathroom. Idina stood under the running shower, still fully dressed, her eyes were closing.

Kristin stepped close, and the cold water touched her skin. She quickly turned off the shower and put a towel around Idina.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to suicide? Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to take a cold shower in the middle of the night?" Kristin screamed with worry.

"I was dead two years ago. I'm not Idina Menzel anymore. I'm just Idina Menzel's hollow body."

Kristin hugged Idina tightly and cried her heart out.

"What should I do? To make you forgive me?"

"You come back to LA. Don't suddenly appear in front of me anymore. Let me forget you."


	12. I Get Along Without You Very Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you miss me, come to see me."

_I get along without you very well  
Of course I do  
Except perhaps in spring, but I should never think of spring  
For that would surely break my heart in two_

***

Denny told her that Idina called and informed him she was pregnant. He said she didn't dare to call Kristin.

Kristin procrastinated for two days, and then she called Idina.

"Kristin, hi."

Idina quickly answered the phone with her soft voice.

They hadn't talked for months, but her voice still sounded so familiar, it made Kristin want to cry.

"Dee..."

"Denny told you already?"

A long silence.

"Congrats."

"Thanks."

Once again, a long silence. They could only hear the rhythm breathing sound of the other. But Kristin didn't want to end the phone call. She thought of all the topics to continue the talk, but then she asked before she could stop herself.

"You still call Denny weekly to ask about me?"

Kristin immediately regretted asking that. She slapped herself and then heard the laughed on the phone.

"Kristi Dawn, you still have that old habit of slapping yourself?"

Kristin laughed too.

"Sorry, don't know why I ask that."

"It's okay. And... yes."

"You could just ask me directly, you know. I want to know about you from you, too. Not by Denny's words." Kristin said and waited nervously.

Idina softly said.

"You're right. I'm so stupid. I still want to be your friend. The past is in the past. Everything that happened seemed just like a dream I almost forgot."

Kristin's heart aching. Is she really think that? Everything that happened just like a dream she almost forgot?

"Yeah..."

"Maybe the motherly hormones make me smarter."

Idina said and laughed a little.

"Hello Kristi Dawn Chenoweth, I'm Idina. I want to be your friend."

"Hi Idina Kim Menzel, I'm Kristi. After I carefully think about your suggestion, I decide to be your friend."

Both laughed happily.

-

They could come back to being friends. It was a good thing.

Both would call each other and tell the other about their day and their mood. They talked about everything. And those phone calls usually lasted hours in duration.

Kristin felt so much better about put herself out there and find some love. She didn't have any interest in another woman. Maybe Idina was just an exception. Her love story was still short but enjoyable.

But as time passed by, their phone call was less and shorter. One call a week became a call a month, and then one call several months. And Kristin only talked about work, Idina mostly spoke about her son.

Until finally, there were only simple texts. Like 'I heard about the accident on the set, are you okay?', or 'I just heard Let It Go on the radio'. They barely even reply to the text.

They met each other on the Wicked tenth-anniversary photoshoot. They knew each other would be there through their managers. And they treated each other like two friends who used to be close but not anymore. Just like they should.

Everything was fine. Kristin told herself that.

Except that, in the insomnia nights, Kristin would stand on her balcony, looked at all the flower pots she planted there, and looked up the starry sky. Then she would cry, quietly and lonely.

-

Denny suddenly came to her house at midnight.

"Have you heard, Idina officially divorces now."

Kristin stunned. She didn't remember how long they haven't talk, but it was months.

"How is that even impossible? Where do you hear the rumor from?"

"She separated last year, don't you know that? The divorce news hasn't announced yet, but on the paper, it's finalized."

Kristin didn't say anything. She didn't know how she feels or how she should feel. She was with Dana now, and she thought this relationship could take the next step. But the moment she heard that Idina was divorce, it would be lying if she said she didn't want to jump back to Idina and started over.

Denny seemed to read part of her mind.

"She didn't call me anymore since you two started to keep in touch directly. I thought you two still talk to each other often. Divorce news is from one of my friends. She will give the announcement next week."

Kristin hugged Denny tightly.

"Denny, please tell me what should I do?"

Denny sighed.

"Oh my brightest star, I don't know how can to help you anymore."

-

Even though she didn't want to, but because Dana wouldn't stop begging, she agreed to came to the party with him.

That party was like most of the party in LA, with so many famous stars. They all drank and talked and laughed, enjoyed themselves, and pretty much just that. In the middle of the party, Kristin saw Taye walked in. He was holding hands with another young woman. Kristin felt so mad, the divorce thing just announced for a week, and he already hands in hands with someone else in public.

Kristin constantly watched him. When his girlfriend busied talk to some other people far away from him, she purposely walked past him and whispered just enough for him to hear:

"Asshole!"

Taye immediately held her arm and pulled her back, facing him. She frowned, waited to see what's he want to do. But he just grinned, lean close to her ear, and whispered back:

"At least this asshole didn't moan your name when having sex with her legally husband."

Kristin stunned, and he walked away.

Kristin found Dana and told him she felt tired and wanted to come home early. He asked to drive her home, but she said Denny almost came. Dana walked her out and waited for Denny with her.

She sat on Denny's car and waited until Dana came back inside, then she told Denny to go.

"Can you tell me what's happened? Suddenly call me to come and drive you home, and I don't think you and Dana have a fight."

"I just met Taye."

Kristin stopped for a beat, Denny patiently waited.

"I called him an asshole."

"He so deserves it!" Denny immediately said.

"And then he said, quoted: At least this asshole didn't moan your name when having sex with her legally husband."

Denny sighed.

"Call her, Kris."

"I'm dating Dana now..."

"So? You two are friends, aren't you? Friends can call each other and ask about this kind of stuff."

"I..."

"Call her right now. Put her on speaker. If you don't dare to say anything, I will do the talking."

Kristin took Denny's phone and looked at him. Denny nodded. Kristin called Idina but didn't turn on the speaker. On the phone, she could hear it rang loudly. Kristin bit her lips. She felt so restless.

"What if she won't answer..."

Kristin stopped right when Idina spoke.

"Hey, Den. What's wrong? Did something happen to Kristin?"

Kristin didn't dare to answer. It was about one minute until Idina continued with suspend in her voice.

"Kristin, is this you?"

"Yes."

"It has been a long time since I heard your voice. Can you say something longer?" Idina joked.

"I miss you."

"If you miss me, come to see me. I'm doing If/Then on Broadway, do you want me to keep you a seat?"


	13. Nothin' In This World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If we decided to be with each other that year, you think what would happen to us? Would we be happy now?"

_Lost you once, I take the blame_   
_Climb that hill, I'll take the rain_   
_Baby, I'm not letting go this time_   
_Nothin' in this world is gonna keep me from you_

***

Kristin promised to come back to New York for a few days. But it wasn't until two months later she could take some day off. She did come to see If/Then, and Idina did save her a seat. But of course, she always overthinks about being recognized, so she just stood in the wings.

It has been a long time since Idina felt that nervous when she was performing on the stage. Through the play, Idina always felt Kristin's eyes watching her, and she tried so hard not to look at the wings to see her.

After the curtain closed, Idina hurry ran to the backstage. Kristin wasn't in the wings anymore. Idina came to her dressing room, and here was her. She looked at all the pictures on the wall, mostly was some fanart since Wicked.

"I only display a few here. In my house, there's a room full of the gift from fans since Wicked. I still keep the Elphaba doll."

"Me too. I mean, the Glinda doll that you brought to LA."

Kristin sat next to Idina.

"It has been a long time since I saw you performing on the stage. You still self-luminous, as always."

"To be honest, when I did Wicked, I always thought they would fire me any day. Especially when my co-star was the Kristin Chenoweth."

"So you mean, when you don't have to act opposite me, you will feel more comfortable and even do it better?"

"You saw I played Elphaba with somebody else once, you tell me."

"I forgot about that show already. But I can't forget what happened that day."

Idina turned to look at Kristin. Kristin smiled and said:

"Don't sorry me. I kinda deserve that."

"Do you want to come to my home for dinner. Walker will be with me tonight. You could see my souvenir room if you want to."

"And admire your Tony, right?"

"Nah. If you want to see my Tony, you will have to go to another room, which only has the Tony and one thank-you note from Barbra Streisand. Only those two things."

They both laughed.

-

Kristin came to Idina's house. When Idina opened the door, Walker was sitting on the floor, played alone.

The moment Idina saw Walker, she immediately smiled so happily, her face even brighter than on stage.

"Walker, give mommy a kiss, come on."

He ran to the door and kissed Idina's cheek, then shyly waved at Kristin, and turned back.

"He's so cute!"

"Of course. I gave birth to him."

Kristin laughed.

"You sit there with Walker. I will cook dinner for us."

"Wait a minute, did I hear that right? You - Idina Menzel - will cook dinner for us?"

"Don't mock me. I'm a gold star mother!"

Idina said and walked to the opening kitchen. Kristin sat next to Walker, watching Idina. Idina wore an apron and opened a cookbook. She held the book and opened the fridge, took all the ingredients. Kristin rubbed his hair and whisper.

"Hey Walker, can I trust your mom's cooking skill?"

Walker shook his head.

"50 - 50. If you smell something burning, that means we will have pizza tonight."

"Hey, Walker, I can hear you!" Idina raised her voice.

Kristin laughed and stood up. She walked to the kitchen.

"I'm starving now, and not in the mood for pizza. What are you cooking?"

Kristin didn't wait for Idina's response. She looked at the opening page of the cookbook, took off Idina's apron, and pushed her out of her kitchen.

"I guarantee you cannot cook this. Out out out! Sit there and play with Walker!"

Idina giggled, stepped out, and sat on the sofa, hugged Walker while watching Kristin wore the apron and started cooking. Sometimes, Kristin had to tip her toes to take something, and she would complain that this kitchen didn't do justice for a petite.

This scene was even more beautiful than her dream.

This happy feeling was something Idina hadn't felt it in a long time.

-

After lulled Walker to sleep, Idina walked back to the living room. Kristin was sitting on the sofa, read a child's storybook. Idina sat next to her, took another child's storybook, and opened it.

"When I stood in the wings to see your performing, Anthony walked to me and whisper in my ear, quoted: 'Dee is a keeper'."

Idina shied.

"That man Anthony always says some nonsense things."

Kristin giggled.

"I didn't tell him anything about us. I only told my sister, Cara. You met her once." Idina explained.

"Yeah, I think he could guess that. They said gay people had a sort of gay-radar. I suddenly came to see your performing and stood in the wings staring at you. It's so obvious for him. But it's okay. I believe he won't tell anyone."

Idina turned to look at Kristin for a while.

"You know, same-sex marriage is legal in all states now."

Kristin sighed.

"I have a boyfriend. I love him, and he loves me. I have no reason to break up with him. He's a good man."

"I know. And if you and he were meant for each other, I happy for you two. I meant it. But if it wasn't, and if I was lucky enough, if you decided to give me one more chance, I knew I'm not letting go again. And I will wait and see if that day would ever come. I already wait for years now. I believe I can continue to wait. Even if I had to wait for the rest of my life."

"So many 'if', don't you think?"

"Yeah. I guess I was affected by the If/Then concept."

"What if we decided to be with each other that year, you think what would happen to us? Would we be happy now?"

"I don't know. But I'd like to know."

"What if my parents couldn't accept same-sex love?"

"First of all, your parents couldn't accept your easy come easy go love life either. And second of all, I know all they want is to see you happy with someone. I believe I can do it."

"And our fans?"

"Oh please! Don't tell me you never read any fan fiction about us. Our couple's name is Chenzel if you haven't known yet." Idina laughed.

"What's about Walker?"

Idina looked seriously.

"I don't want my son to see another breaking love story. Walker is the most important person to me right now, and I will protect him at all costs. But I know we won't fail, or else I will never talk to you about any of this."

Kristin looked at Idina for a long time.

"You're different."

Idina smiled.

"Good different or bad different?"

"I don't know just yet. I don't know who's this Idina sitting in front of me either."

"Well, I introduced myself to you twice. I don't mind do it again."

"I know your name, Idina Kim Menzel. But I'd like to know more."

"What you haven't known, I will slowly tell you everything."

Kristin rested her head on Idina's shoulder.

"What if I don't like the now-Idina? And you, what if you don't like the now-Kristin?"

"Then, at least we've tried."

Kristin arms wrapped around Idina's waist, and she yawned.

"I'm so sleepy..."

"Do you want me to princess hold you to the bed?"

Kristin pouted.

"Don't say it if you can't do it."

"Fine. I admit I can't do it anymore."

"First thing I don't like about the now-Idina: too weak."

Idina laughed, stroked Kristin's hair.

"First thing I don't like about the now-Kristin: too picky."


	14. For Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "By the power vested in me by the State of California, I announce you wife and wife. You may kiss your bride."

_Who can say if I've been changed for the better_   
_I do believe I have been changed for the better_   
_And because I knew you_   
_I have been changed for good_

***

When Kristin came to her house, she saw a note on her door which wrote "Welcome home, baby", a scrabble writing that unmistakably to recognize. Kristin smiled, opened her door, and turned on the light.

Idina stepped out of the corner, looked at her, and smile.

"Idina, what are you doing here?"

"Denny told me you just broke up."

Kristin laughed.

"So you immediately came to steal me away? Can you give me some breaking time? I want to stop all the love stuff for a while."

"I waited long enough. Ten years, Kristin. It's about damn time. I don't want to wait no more."

Idina came closer to Kristin.

"Besides, I didn't come to confess my love to you. Ten years is more than enough to prove it."

Idina slowly kneed down, took out a ring box, and opened it. Inside the box is a diamond ring. Kristin surprisedly covered her mouth.

"Kristi Dawn Chenoweth, will you marry me?"

Kristin cried and nodded repeatedly. She hardly spoke.

“Idina Kim Menzel, yes, I do.”

Idina quickly stood up, put the ring on Kristin's finger, and lifted her, turned her around.

When Idina put Kristin down, Kristin held her tight, rest her head on her shoulder, whispered.

"I engaged once. And I broke off the engagement even though I didn't mean to do it... Aren't you scared?"

"I married once. And I divorced even though I swore I would never do that. Aren't you scared?"

Kristin shook her head. Idina looked straight to her eyes.

"What I am scared of the most is that you aren't beside me. If you broke off our engagement, I would propose you hundreds and thousands of times, until you finally wear the white wedding dress and marry me."

–

After they engaged, they both worried about would Walker and Kristin's parents accept it. Luckily, Walker loved Kristin a lot, so when they mentioned Kristin would be his "another mother", he was super excited. And as they thought, Kristin's parents were hard to convince. Their personality liked Kristin's. They overthink and worry about every single thing. But at the end of the day, they believed their daughter's happiness was the most important thing.

Since all the problems were gone, Idina and Kristin bought a beautiful new house in LA together. And one month after that, they officially moved in together. 

That night was the first night they had dinner at the new house, and of course, Kristin was the chef, and Idina was her cook assistant. They cooked and played around and laughed, and sometimes they would kiss each other on their cheeks.

That dinner was very special because both families would meet for the first time. Even though it was the first meet, everyone got along very well. Idina's mom and Kris's moms kept telling about their childhood story, made two middle-aged women blushed and sighed through the dinner.

"Mom, please stop..." Idina and Kristin desperately begged at the same time. 

After a while, Walker quickly stepped in the spotlight. He was so adorable and funny, all his silly stories were so attractive, and everyone laughed about it so hard. Idina and Kristin both looked at him with all the love and pride.

The dinner was almost finished. Kristin held her wine glass and stood up.

"Attention, please. So, as you all know, Idina proposed to me, and I'm wearing her ring right now." Kristin pointed at her shiny diamond ring on her ring finger. "But as you can see, her finger is still empty. And I think it's wrong."

Kristin put her glass down.

"I have waited so long for this, have to be so patient, and I mean it. Because I wanna do this in front of all of our most important people. But first, I have to to to her side."

Kristin stepped right in front of Idina. Idina looked at her with her eyes sparkled with love and smiled the happiest smile.

"You know I can't kneel."

Idina nodded.

"I know. I allow you to propose to me while standing."

Kristin took a ring box out.

"This ring isn't a proposal, because you already proposed to me and I said yes. This ring is to claim that I will marry you. So, I will ask you once again..."

Idina wiped her tears.

"I do!"

"I haven't finished it, honey. Idina..."

"I do!" Idina quickly said.

Everyone laughed for Idina's impatience. Kristin smiled and shook her head.

"Honey, can you please be a little bit patient and let me finish the question before you answer it?"

Idina giggled, straighten her face, and nodded.

"Idina Kim Menzel, will you marry me?"

Idina smiled brightly, a truly happy smile. She immediately answered.

"Kristi Dawn Chenoweth, I do. Come on, put your ring on my finger now. I have waited for so long too."

Kristin quickly put the ring on her finger in the cheer sound of all the people they loved the most and loved them the most.

–

The wedding is held in their backyard garden. Simple but gorgeous. And the guests were their family and close friend and the Wicked's original Broadway cast, even Joe and Stephen was there. And no one in Wicked's OBC was surprised about the wedding. When Idina called to asked Joe to come, he immediately said: "I knew it!".

Idina's father and son walked the taller woman down the alter. And right after that, Kristin's father walked the shorted one.

They stood in front of each other, held each other's hands, looked at each other, and smiled happily.

"Wicked the musical changed my life a lot. But above all, the thing I appreciate the most about Wicked is that I got the chance to meet you, and know you, and love you. 'For Good' is the last song we performed together every night for months, and I think it fits this moment so well. Because I knew you, I have been changed for the better, for good. All those years, I sang 'For Good' alone in a lot of my solo concert, but I always felt like something is missing. From today on, my life is entirely complete, cuz I have you by my side for the rest of my life. I vow to love you forever and to make you the happiest woman on this planet."

"I think we do have some kind of telepathy. I'm about to mention Wicked and For Good, too. I'm really happy that I can meet you, love you, and loved by you. I have been changed for the better, for good. I used to deny this love for years. And I tried to sing For Good with someone else for so long, but I always felt like something isn't right, cuz no one could ever replace you in my heart. From today on, my life will absolutely perfect, cuz I have you by my side for the rest of my life. I vow to love you forever and always be there for you whenever you need me."

"By the power vested in me by the State of California, I announce you wife and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Idina and Kristin's face slowly came closer to each other, and then they kissed in the cheers of their guests and the sweet melody of "For Good".

And they lived happily ever after, for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I finished this story (the Vietnamese version), I thought I'd never write another Chenzel long fic. I'm proud of "She Loves Her So" even though it's not perfect. For this story, I wrote each chapter with a song title. That's why it's a little rush because I was more focused on the "what happened" to fits the song. So, I planned to write some more one-shot as side stories of "She Loves Her So" to explain more and show more of what I didn't write in the main story.  
> But things happen, and about one month later, I have a new long fic idea. By now, I already finish the brainstorm for the new fic and already have the ending. I'm writing it and hope that I could share it with you guys soon.  
> I might write some side stories for "She Loves Her So" if I had new ideas.  
> I hope you all like this story. Love to y'all!


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